At what point does passion cross the border into addiction? When do our relationships with alcohol, drugs, work, food, sex, shopping, exercise or love become too much?
Following the fatal heroin overdose of her boyfriend when she was just twenty-four, Nicola spiralled into the depths of grief. Her way out from it was to examine, profoundly and meticulously, the mysterious forces of addiction and the emotional vulnerability from which they grow. In this laceratingly honest and clear-sighted memoir, Nicola takes us on a vivid journey through her heart and mind, and the development of her personal perspective on life. She delves into the relationship with her adored but alcoholic father and examines how it shaped the way she loved others.
My Will is not only a story of dependence, but also of the power of human connection – love, compassion, and intense care – and the roller-coaster ride of giving your all. It is a story of the human condition of fear, and of the struggle to let go of yourself to achieve acceptance. Nicola Vivian’s intimate and heartfelt writing draws you into her world, and gently encourages you to examine your own view of reality and recurring cycles of behaviour.
‘A great journey — and so harrowing.’
‘A roller-coaster ride which kept me gripped: not only does Vivian find her own value as a writer of rare lyricism, fluency, and wisdom, but we her readers find our value too. Unputdownable.’
Rachel Kelly, writer, mental health campaigner and author of Sunday Times bestseller Black Rainbow: How Words Healed Me – My Journey through Depression